darling and diabolical
by smartalker
Summary: Lucy is by far the cutest girl he knows, and Gray is deeply suspicious. — GrayLucy


**Darling and Diabolical**

Gray thought Lucy was kind of cute. He means hot. Because guys like Gray didn't go around saying things were _cute_. That was just—no.

But Lucy was still pretty hot. And by hot, he means cute.

Of course, this didn't mean he was going to try anything. Oh, no. Gray had enough experience with women to know that they were, without a doubt, some of the most fiendish creatures alive. He didn't have a very good track record. One of them had almost frozen his balls off, (Ur,) and the other routinely sent him face-first through a wall (Erza).

So yeah, Gray was onto her. And not in a totally sexual sense, you creepers, but as in, he was onto her and—and—she was _clearly_ up to no good.

So he waited. And he watched her. And it wasn't because she was cute, it was because he suspected she might kill him in his sleep, okay?!

She didn't.

She did, however, turn all kinds of red when he was walking around without a shirt on. Or any pants. But that was clearly just _her_ fault, and so Gray resolved to be more aware of his state of clothing when Lucy was around, since she was obviously muttering some kind of evil spell to make him strip.

It was either that, or she just made him want to take his clothes off. And Gray quietly decided he wasn't going to think about that.

When Lucy failed to do anything other than be obnoxiously adorable, Gray ground his teeth and tapped one foot and paced in angry little circles and pushed Natsu into a frozen lake. It was very relaxing and he resolved to do so again at every possible opportunity. Natsu retaliated by super-heating the toilet seat.

Gray's screech was a truly impressive thing.

He scowled at her through breakfast. He glared through lunch, and glowered at dinner. Erza promptly beat him when he started unconsciously pulling off his shirt, and it began happening with alarming regularity.

"Could you pass the salt?" Lucy asked him politely, and Gray twitched. That was something funny about Lucy, he had noticed. She ate with an almost immaculate grace, tiny little bites and a straight back and she actually used her spoon.

He passed her the salt. Her smile was something honestly beautiful. He glared with fresh suspicion.

Someone that cute _must_ have an evil plan.

When she invited him back to her house, her real house, he had gone along with it, because Natsu had been busy and it wasn't like he really hated hanging out around Lucy. She wasn't so bad, really. Besides the whole evil genius bit.

It was becoming increasingly hard to remember that Lucy was an evil fiend behind her cute, happy little grin. And by cute, he meant hot.

Really.

"Who's this?" asked one of Lucy's maids, and Gray goes rigid when he sees Lucy in that dress. She looks older somehow, and her smile is more a woman's, less a girl's.

"This is Gray," she says, with a head tilt towards him. He fiddles with her hems of his sleeves, and feels suddenly, sharply contrasting with all the marble and pearls and the clear, clear regality in Lucy's face that all her adventures haven't totally hidden.

"Is he your…?" the maid trails off, with a coy sort of smile, and Gray goes a little slack. Lucy blushes, and hesitates just a second too long.

"No! He's just—he's Gray." She mumbles, and beckons him away, and he follows her.

He thinks she might be a princess.

He's so bewildered by this new, suddenly womanly Lucy, that it's not until she's got him bowing to her father that he realizes, with an outraged jolt, that she had utterly trapped him.

His jaw drops. He stares. Lucy blinks back innocently.

"Gray? What's up?"

"I—you—big house—_traitor_," he gargles, and Lucy's father adjusts his glasses.

"If you'd let me arrange your marriage, I wouldn't have picked an utter idiot," he sniffs, and Lucy colors.

"I'm not marrying him, I was just—just introducing you!" she seethes, a little to flustered, and Gray can only stare at her.

He decides that she is the evilest woman he has met thus far, and easily, so easily admits that he doesn't much care.

"And I'd _appreciate_ it," Lucy snarls, "If you'd treat my friends with the respect they deserve, and—Gray! Pants! ON!"


End file.
